We'll find out soon enough, but in the meantime the Spalding GOP Store is selling campaign buttons, t-shirts, and other electioneering material for the following potential candidates:
Candidate | Resume | Chances |
---|---|---|
Sarah Palin | Alaska Governor | She's a political rock star but many people have written her off as a loser, quitter, and nincompoop |
Mitt Romney | Massachusetts Governor | Masterminded the Massachusetts health care reform that was used as the blueprint for Obamacare |
Newt Gingrich | U.S. House Speaker, Georgia Congressman | Thinks his Contract with America invented the Tea Party |
Mike Huckabee | Arkansas Governor | Still has support in Iowa, but is host of most boring show on Fox |
Rudy Giuliani | Mayor of New York City | Can Republican voters get past that he is prochoice? |
Ron Paul | Texas Congressman | Will sit out in favor of a future run by son newly elect U.S. Senator Rand "Aqua Buddha" Paul |
Bobby Jindal | Louisiana Governor | Blew his 15 minutes of fame giving the Republican response to Barack Obama's first State of the Union speech |
Haley Barbour | Mississippi Governor, RNC Chairman | He can whistle Dixie |
Jeb Bush | Florida Governor | Is America ready for a fourth Bush term? |
Rick Santorum | U.S. Senator, Pennsylvania Congressman | The left would commit him to a sanitarioum |
Mitch Daniels | Indiana Governor, OMB Director | I knew Dan Qualye, Mitch Daniels is no Dan Qualye |
Tim Pawlenty | Minnesota Governor | No one knows him outside Minnesota |
John Thune | U.S. Senator, South Dakatoa Congressman | No one knows him outside South Dakata |
There are a few other names being talked about, but they aren't on sale yet at Spalding:
Candidate | Resume | Chances |
---|---|---|
Jon Greenspon | Montana Businessman | As the first announced candidate he aready has his own website and online store |
Fred Karger | California political consultant and gay rights activist | He has a website but nothing to sell, and gay rights will be a very tough sell to Republican voters |
Chris Christie | New Jersey Governor | Would have to turn his back on his governorship in the middle of his first term |
Rick Perry | Texas Governor | Says he doesn't want run, might prefer to be President of Texas |
Jim DeMint | U.S. Senator for South Carolina | Self-proclaimed Tea Party kingmaker may want to be king |
Mike Pence | Indiana Congressman | Just gave up his House leadership position but may intend to run for Governor not for President |
Paul Ryan | Wisconsin Congressman | Keeps updating his Roadmap for America's Future |
John Bolton | U.N. Ambassador | He'd have to shave his mustache if he wants to be taken seriously as Mr. Right for America |
Donald Trump | Businessman | Couldn't get elected Mayor of Atlantic City but may secretly dream of telling Barack Obama, "You're fired!" |
Herman Cain | Radio Talk Show Host | Conservatives love him on the radio, but how many votes will he get in Virgil Caine country? |
Michele Bachmann | Minnesota Congressman | Tea Party Caucus organizer was passed over for House GOP Leadership |
Update 1/7/2011: added Herman Cain.
Update 1/21/2011: added Michele Bachmann.
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